


Laughter In Silence

by Captainamericant



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Deaf, Deaf AU, Fluff, Humor, M/M, deaf iwaizumi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-18
Updated: 2015-07-05
Packaged: 2018-03-31 02:29:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,025
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3961006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Captainamericant/pseuds/Captainamericant
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was what he heard whenever he was with Oikawa.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> So I haven't actually posted anything in a really long time... I really hope you like it!

They met during the school festival in their first year of middle school.  Oikawa Tooru was put to work making sign after sign for his class’ cafe.  No one trusted him to do much else even though he would look striking in one of those uniforms thank you very much.  He groaned in frustration because really, it was his tenth sign.  Why did they even need that many signs?  Oikawa stood to stretch out his vastly growing limbs when he swung his arms to the side and felt it come in contact with something.  A body hit the ground along with several items that scattered around the floor.   Oikawa stared in horror at the dark haired boy that looked ready to snap his neck.  He quickly bent down and frantically threw everything back into the box all while stuttering, “I’m so sorry!”

The boy didn’t reply.  He only sighed in annoyance and shot a glare at Oikawa.  He wondered what class the boy was from, he had never seen him before.  Or maybe it was because Oikawa didn't pay enough attention to anything that wasn’t volleyball related.  He kept glancing up at the angry looking boy, not knowing why he was so fixated on him.  Once everything was placed back into the box, the boy stomped away.  Oikawa pouted, well, that was rude.  He could have at least said thank you, but then again, he was the one that knocked the kid down.  He shrugged and plopped back down to the ground once more. He had about a million more posters to make.    

**\---**

They met again during the school festival.  Or well, Oikawa met the boy again and the boy met a giant bear holding up a sign.  After Oikawa had finished all his handiwork, he had prompted the females in his class to allow him to wait at their cafe.  They had all been smitten with him in the black and white uniform, flashing smiles and winks at any female within a five meter radius.  It had almost worked too, but on the day of the festival and he had spilt coffee three times in the span of the ten minutes they had been open. He was then downgraded to being the sign boy.  In a bear costume.  He didn't understand why! Sure the cuteness of the bear was to attract customers, but he was ten times more cute than it! Who could possible say no to his beautiful face and dashing personality? He groaned and pouted inside the costume. It was hot and cramped.  It was just so boring holding a sign! It wasn’t until the two hour mark when the boredom had finally gotten to him and he decided that twirling the sign would be a good idea.  He had seen people on the side of the road do it and really, how hard could it be? He smiled to himself and twisted the sign up in the air, but the costume made it hard for him to look up and see where the sign was.  He saw it fall down in the corner of his eye. Right up top of a person.  There was a loud thud and hiss of pain before Oikawa pushed off his costume head and looked at the damage he had done.  All the blood in his body rushed to his face because it was the boy again.  His glare even more frightening than the last time.  

“I’m so sorry!” Oikawa said frantically, “I really didn’t mean to knock you down—again!”

The boy didn’t even look at Oikawa, he just brushed himself off and stood, his eyes casted at the mess of takoyaki on the ground.  Oikawa cursed and blush even harder.  “I’ll—I’ll buy you a new one if you want.”

He didn't looked up from the ground, instead he knelt down and started to pick up the dirtied food.  Oikawa went to help him.  Once the two boy tossed it in the trash Oikawa offered to repay him again, but still no answer.  How rude! He might have knock him down twice but that’s not reason to ignore someone! He puffed out his chest in a thuggish manner, well, as thug that you could be in a bear costume.  He placed a hand on his hip. “It’s very rude to not answer someone when they are talking to you.”

The boy blinked a few times and squinted, he knocked in head to the side in concentration before pointing to his ears.  As if that was any indication of anything at all! Oikawa huffed in frustration again.

“I apologized and offered to buy you food twice but you haven’t said a word to me!” He pouted.  

The boy in front of his scrunched up his eyebrow and pulled at little notebook out of the pocket of his hoodie.  A small pencil was attaching to the top and scribbled something down quickly.  Oikawa waited with his arms crossed over his chest still annoyed but he took the notebook anyway when offered.  His eyes widen because written in very neat writing it said ‘I’m deaf.’

**\---**

Something shifted in both of their worlds after that.  For the better, mostly.  After the awkward silence (for Oikawa) he had tried to stammer an apology again but then blush furiously.  The boy in front of him laughed at how flustered Oikawa had become.  He had offered to buy him takoyaki again, this time writing on the paper.  The boy had shrugged and the two of them made their way through the festival, Oikawa abandoning his post for good.  They sat on a bench in the shade.  It was there that Oikawa learned the boy’s name.  Hajime Iwaizumi.  Oikawa decided that it was one of the most beautiful names he had ever heard.  

**\---**

They became almost inseparable after that.  Iwaizumi tried to escape from Oikawa’ clutches at first, but if he had to admit it to himself, he liked the other boy’s company.  He was sparkly and energetic to the point of annoyance at times, but Oikawa brought out the Iwaizumi’s playfulness and in turn he taught Oikawa to relax.  The two made a perfect pair, and during the first few months of their friendship their conversation had consist of note writing.  They filled in several notebooks in the first month alone and finally Oikawa had gotten fed up of not being able to communicate with his best friend (yes, best friend!) he had taken out several sign language books from the library and threw himself into learning it.  There were a lot of long nights and, of course,  he kept it hidden of Iwaizumi for the time being.  He would tell him when he was ready!  Oikawa spent months on the books and even bought some of his own when he had to return most of them to the library.

They sat eating their lunch, not having a conversation.  It was hard to eat and write at the same time.  Oikawa was chewing on his pork bun, kicking his legs back and forth in contentment.  He hummed a simple tune under his breath.  It was stopped when Iwaizumi had turned around and told Oikawa to knock off the kicking, and he had told him no right back.  Iwaizumi shot back in confusion.  He stared at the hands held in the air, eyes widen.  Oikawa quickly tucked his hands into his pocket, embarrassed.  Everything seemed to have stood still all around them, Oikawa bit his lip in anticipation at what his friend would say next.  But instead of saying anything, Iwa-chan had smiled.  A large, toothy grin that made his eyes crinkle at the sides and dimples formed on his cheeks.  Oikawa’s breath caught in his throat and his mind went blank. It was like he was staring at the sun.  He hadn't registered that Iwaizumi had signed something to him until he felt a punch on his arm.  He winched and pouted at his friend, now paying attention.  Iwaizumi placed a hand on his mouth and moved it down.   _Thank you._

**\---**

Their friendship blossomed as the seasons past and soon wherever Iwaizumi was, Oikawa wasn’t far behind.  He kept working on his sign language over the next couple of years, and soon he was able to speak quite fluently with Iwaizumi.  Their classmates usually relied on Oikawa to translate, but he felt annoyed about being used, so being the brat that he was, Oikawa put his own flare in his translation, much to Iwaizumi's irritation.  

In their second year of middle school, Oikawa dragged Iwaizumi to tryouts.  “Whatever the coach says I can just translate for you!” He had said, “Don’t worry!”  He went, because really, he couldn’t say no to the large brown eyes filled with life and the large grin that was meant for him.  It turned out that he was very good.  He had only played a few times with Oikawa but he was able to keep up with most of the regular players from last year and even hit Oikawa’s sets.  He had not only made the team, but he had also made it onto first string.  With Oikawa.  Always with Oikawa.  

**\---**

During their third year of middle school something changed.  A slight discrepancy became of their system, a loss screw, an un-greased gear.  The smooth friendship that they have been functioning with come to a halt when Kageyama Tobio joined the team.  Kageyama, the genius first year, the one that was going to give Oikawa a run for his money.  The new shining star of Kitagawa Daiichi.  Without knowing it, he was the reason for the worst year the two of them had ever experienced.  The reason why everything almost fell apart right in front of them.  

The third year were playing around on one of the court after practice.  They had wanted to play a game against each other before graduation and of course Oikawa and Iwaizumi have been placed on the same team.  They made sure of it.  Oikawa smiled at his friend from the front of the court and gave him a cheeky smile.  The game was about to start when a shy voice piped up from the other side of the court.  The first year fidgeted with his shirt, face red.  He repeated himself, “Can I play?”

Oikawa snorted and rolled his eyes, “What makes you think you can keep up with us?” He mocked.  

Even without being able to hear him, Iwa-chan had seen his expression and knew that Oikawa had been rude.  He gave him a stern look and shook his head.  Oikawa held back a growl as the smaller boy entered the court, standing as tall as he could in front of his senpais.  The setter from the other team must have liked his determination, because he shrugged and called Kageyama over to his side of the court.  He went to sit the the bench to watch instead, telling the other boys that he could play in their next game.  Kageyama now stood right across from Oikawa, the picture of joy and innocence.  Oikawa stuck his tongue out at the boy in a childish manner, glad that Iwaizumi couldn’t see him doing it.  He got ready for the game, having full confident that his team would win.  At the end of the third set, he was the one that let the ball fall.  The sound of the volleyball hitting the floor beside him echoed all through the gym.  His ears rang during the impact and he had not yet registered that he had lost his team the game until the other side of the court started cheering and patting Kageyama on the back.  He smiled timidly at his senpais and bowed several times in thanks.  Oikawa hadn’t registered anything until he felt a hand pressing to his back.  It was Iwaizumi.  Of course it was.  

_Let’s go_ , Iwaizumi signed.

Oikawa nodded slightly and swallowed the lump in his throat.  He shakily walked off the court following Iwaizumi off of the gym and into the cool night.  The only thoughts rumbling around his mind were ‘That was my serve.  That was my serve, and he did it better.’

They didn’t talk on their way back home.  Oikawa was too stuck in his thoughts to say anything and Iwaizumi was concentrating on something quite hard.  When their reached the streetlight it was time for them to go their separate ways.  He was usually upset when they  would reach this point. He wanted to spend every waking minute with his best friend, but today he couldn’t wait to get home. Oikawa waved tiredly at Iwaizumi before making his way back home, he didn’t turn to see the concerned expression on his best friend’s face.  Oikawa laid face down on his bed, breathing small breaths of air in the hopes that it would slow his heart rate down.  He held his pillow close to his chest when he turned to his side, staring at his volleyball jersey that was neatly hung on his wall.  Staring at the medals and pictures of the team that was place on a shelf above his desk, anger rushed through him and he threw his pillow across the room.  His vision blurred as tears of frustration as he seethed at the thought of Kageyama replacing him as the first-string setter.  He would show the first year that Oikawa Tooru was a force to be reckoned with.  

**\---**

He had forgotten to text Iwaizumi the next morning in his rush to get to practice.  He was the first on there, begging the janitor to open the gym for him to practice.  Oikawa did his jump serve over and over again within the hour and a half he arrived.  When he heard the squeak from a pair of shoes coming he turned around and beamed at the bewildered coach.  “Good morning!” He smiled and threw the ball in the air.  His coach shook his head in disbelief but didn’t say anything. He figured that he was allowed to come again the next day.  He kept up his serving until the team came trickling in one at a time. He hit a particularly good one and was about to pat himself on the back when a volleyball collided with his head.  Oikawa shot forward in pain and cradled the back of his head, he spun around to see a seething Iwaizumi in the archway of the gym entrance.  His face was red, and steam was partially coming out of his ears in anger.  He stomped over at Oikawa and grabbed his collar, shaking him viciously.  If Iwaizumi spoke, Oikawa knew that he would have spewing so many curse words at him that he would to wash his mouth out with holy water afterwards.  He held his hands up in defeat as Iwaizumi hit his head once more before finally standing with his arms crossed over his chest, waiting for Oikawa to explain himself.  

He ran his hands through his hair before signing, _Let’s talk about this later._

_Let’s talk about this now!_ Iwaizumi scowled.

   He heard the coach’s whistle blow and he signed in relief.  Practice is starting, Oikawa signed hastily before jogging over to the rest of the team.  He knew that Iwaizumi wouldn’t let the topic drop anytime soon, but postponing it for a couple of hours was better than nothing.  

When Oikawa saw Kageyama standing opposite of him clinging onto every word that the coach said, he felt a scowl form on his face.  He quickly thought of all the times he’s told Iwaizumi that he would get wrinkles at a young age if he kept scowling, but Oikawa couldn’t bring himself to care.  Once practice started, he got back into his momentum.  He let out a ragged breath, determination coloured his vision.  There was no way he was going to let a first year surpass him.  Oikawa practiced during lunch too, so when Iwaizumi came to his classroom he was already jogging towards the gym.  

**\---**

_Come on, let’s go home,_ Iwaizumi signed after practice.  He was breathing hard from the exercise they had just done and was ready for a long hot bath.  Oikawa on the other hand, looked like he wanted to run two and a half marathons, and maybe bike up a mountain afterwards.  He grunted, _Go without me, I want to get some extra practice in._

Iwaizumi made a face, _You came early this morning and practiced all through lunch._  

Oikawa ignored his friend and tossed the ball into the air, readying himself for another spike.  A hand came out to catch it midair and the ball was chucked to the other side of the court.  

_Dammit Trashkawa, stop being such an idiot!_

He huffed and stuck his tongue out, Fifteen more minutes! I promise!

_Ten._

_Fifteen!_

_Iwaizumi shucked in a breath and nodded slight.  He pretended that the bright smile that overcame Oikawa’s face didn’t take his breath away.  He sat at the far wall of the gym, watching his best friend slowly destroy himself._

**\---**

The next few days went about the same.  He didn’t bother waiting at the streetlight anymore, he knew that Oikawa was already at school.  He started to join during the lunch practises, bringing a small lunch so he could eat it in a few bites.  It’s the afternoon that usually takes a turn for the worst because for some idiotic reason, Oikawa doesn’t seem like he’s capable to holding himself back.  It’s like he’s a storm that had something to prove to the people he crushes under his wrath.  His best friend, the gentle arrogant boy that smiled at the sun and laughed with the stars turned into a monster.  Iwaizumi couldn’t hear, he couldn’t possibly know the god awful things that Oikawa said to his juniors in a fit of jealously and rage, but he saw.  He saw soft lines of Oikawa’s face turn sharp and the pale of his complexion turn a raging red.  He noticed the way the gym would come to a halt whenever Oikawa opened his mouth, and observed the way that his teammates looked at him: disgusting, tyrant, arrogant, obnoxious.  All the things that Iwaizumi knew he wasn’t but was acting like.  

He wasn’t caught in Oikawa’s crossfire of rage, however.  Never, not even once.  Oikawa was all smiles, like his old self.  But his grins didn’t hold the light that they use to.  His personal practises stop being fifteen minutes and slowly inched to thirty, and then to an hour.  Soon Oikawa didn’t leave the gym until nine with a tired Iwaizumi beside him.  He had cut Oikawa off at two hours, even a second after over the time he haul the other boy’s ass out of the gym to get change.  No matter how much Oikawa whined and begged for an extra ten minutes he knew that that would turn to another two hours somehow, and he didn’t know much more his heart could take.  

**\---**

Oikawa saw red whenever he saw Kageyama.  A fire would burn in the pit of his stomach with rage and envy.  He was determined to beat the boy no matter what it took.  He smiled at Iwaizumi as he entered his class during lunch.  The other boy looked grimly at Oikawa, _Let’s skip lunch practise today._

A worried look crossed Oikawa’s face, _Are you feeling sick, Iwa-chan?_

Iwaizumi shook his head, _I think you should take a break._

Oikawa didn’t miss the fact that Iwaizumi had said you and not us.  He pushed the scowl down and smiled brightly at his friend.  A crushing feeling took over his chest, _Sure Iwa-chan.  Let’s just relax today._

The two boys sat on a bench outside.  Iwaizumi eating his bento and Oikawa chewing mindlessly at his pork bun.  He couldn’t stop fidgeting. He wanted his body to move.  He wanted to run and spike and set.  He felt a punch to the side before he noticed Iwaizumi was signing to him, he apologized.  

Iwaizumi rolled his eyes, _Stop fidgeting.  You’re like an energetic squirrel._

He pouted, _How rude!_

_My sister is coming back for Tokyo this weekend, she wants to take us out to a movie and ice cream,_ Iwaizumi told him.

Oikawa took a long time to chew his food.  He didn't want him to know that Oikawa did training on the weekend too, pretty much the whole day.  He had lied and had told Iwaizumi that his parents make him visit his grandma over the weekend.  It wasn’t that he didn’t want to go, but since he was slacking now he had to make up for it during the afternoon and weekend.  

_Can’t you miss one weekend?_

He shook his head and cringed inwardly at the lie.  He hated it, he hated lying to his best friend but there was nothing else he could do.  

Iwaizumi tilted his head to the side and looked at him in concentration, _Is everything okay?_

_Taken back, he nodded._

_Are you sure? Because you can tell me anything, you know that._

Oikawa felt his heart in his throat.  How could he tell his best friend that flew with the birds and moved mountains with his actions that he felt small and insignificant because of some twelve year old.  Instead of living through that embarrassment, he swallowed down his anxiety and gave his best friend a smile.   _There’s nothing to say._  But there was, there was so much.  

**\---**

The foundation cracked the next week.  The ground beneath them finally crumbled under Oikawa’s stress and Iwaizumi’s worry and it left the two boys tired, broken, and alone.  It was one of Oikawa’s crazy self practises again.  He was spiking away and didn't stop even when Iwaizumi pushed him roughly.  He simply shrugged it off and grabbed another volleyball out of cart.  Iwaizumi scowled and slapped him upside the head, _Hurry up and clean Oikawa! Your two hours are up._

_Ten more minutes_

No!

Oikawa did something he had never done before, he scowled at Iwaizumi.  He pushed the other boy away and threw the ball in the air, ignoring his friend.  Pissed off, Iwaizumi took Oikawa by the shoulders and shook up.  Anger was filling all parts of his body until he felt like he would explode.

_Just give me ten god damn more minutes!_

_I said no Oikawa! You’re working yourself to the grave!_

“You just don’t understand! You don’t have a genius coming at you at full force! You would never know what it’s like to feel this helpless and weak! Just shut up already!” Oikawa roared and shoved Iwaizumi back.

The other boy stood in disbelief and held his breath.  He didn’t need to know what Oikawa said, because the crease  that formed on his forehead and the red splotches that painted his face told him everything he needed to know.  Oikawa finally registered what he had said and deeply regretted his words because he held out a shaky hand over his mouth, an apology at the tip of his tongue.  Iwaizumi was already turned away, leaving him behind in the heap of mess that he had created for himself.  

**\---**

They didn’t communicate for a two weeks.  It’s was all turned backs, and twisted mouths and watery eyes whenever they were in the same room.  Oikawa stopped attending his extra practices, with the gaping hole he felt on his chest, he found it hard to breathe normally, let alone while playing volleyball.  Something that Oikawa never thought was that he could feel worst than he did when he saw Kageyama.  Surely there was nothing that he dread more than being replaced on the team, but he was wrong.  He was so wrong because while the thought of Kageyama made him ill to his stomach, the face that Iwaizumi had stopped communicating with him felt like sharp knives on his skin and fire seeping through his whole body.  

  Trying to distract himself was easier said than done.  Oikawa had plenty of other friends and for the first couple of days after their fight he had tried to spend his free time with them.  It simply didn’t help.  The fight kept replaying in his mind and he figured that he wasn’t the most enjoyable person to be around so he stopped.  Oikawa kept wondering how Iwaizumi was doing, he wasn’t letting it affect his volleyball like Oikawa was, but the scowl that was pastured on his face was different than his usual one.  The team knew that they weren’t on their best game, but they were smart enough not to ask either one about it.  

After a particularly hard practice, where he had messed up several sets Oikawa glared at the tips of his shoes in frustration as he shoved his belongings in his bag.  He heard a small voice say his name and a shot of hope ran through his body.  It was stupid, Iwaizumi didn’t talk.  When he turned around and saw Kageyama, anger flared up.

“What?” He snapped.  

“Oikawa-senpai!  Please teach me how to serve.”

 He didn’t know what happened next.  Red coloured his vision and he felt his arm raising over his head, in one swift motion it came down but something stopped it before it could hit Kageyama.  Oikawa’s eyes shot to the other figure in the room and sucked in a breath.  Iwaizumi held his arm in a vice grip.  His dark eyes shot daggers into Oikawa and he shot a look at Kageyama that meant ‘leave, now.’  After the first year escaped the gym, the two of them stood in silence.  Oikawa had since pulled his arm out of Iwaizumi’s grip and rubbed the sore He couldn’t look at his friend in the eyes without wanting to cry, so he opted to look at the gym floor.  Embarrassment washed over him and his face was red.  Oikawa almost jumped out of his skin when he felt a hand on his shoulder.  

_Are you okay?_

Oikawa gave his friend a strained smile and nodded, his heart hammering in his chest.

Iwaizumi scowled and knocked his forehead against Oikawa’s knocking him onto the ground.  Iwaizumi towered over, hands clenched at his sides with a dark expression upon his face.  Oikawa swallowed and closed his eyes when Iwaizumi’s hands shot forward.  Strong arms wrapped around his body and his face was pressed against Iwaizumi’s chest.  Relief washed over him like nothing he had ever experienced.  With shaky arms Oikawa returned the gesture and pulled Iwaizumi’s flat against him, he smiled when he heard his friend grunt but he didn’t pull away.   They walked home slowly, cold night air washed over them but Oikawa only felt warmth.  From the way Iwaizumi walking closely beside him, and from the way their shoulders bumped ever so slightly all the way home.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to my best friend/beta for putting up with my awful grammar and betaing for me. You're the best!   
> Also I have a [tumblr](http://tinyyhinata.tumblr.com)


	2. The Middle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Iwaizumi isn't as strong as he wants people to think.

Their first year of high school starts off with a bang.  Quite literally because Oikawa didn’t know how to shut up and even though Iwaizumi couldn’t fucking hear, some how Oikawa’s voice still managed to piss him off.  Outside in the courtyard Oikawa was speaking to a group of girls who were more or less ready to jump his bones.  Many of them were excited that the boy that had won the best setter award was attending their school and most had waited all summer to meet the famous Oikawa Tooru.  The boy was soaking up the attention like a sponge. He was popular during middle school but it was nothing compared to now.  Iwaizumi glared at Oikawa chatting happily with his fangirls, he had been waiting for the idiot in front of this class  for the past ten minutes! Iwaizumi stomped forward and flung his shoe at the idiot, the boy shot forward while the girls around him stood in shock at a bare footed Iwaizumi coming forward to give the bastard a good beating.  After a good few slaps he shoots the girls a look that wasn’t really supposed to be mean, but being that he had just given Oikawa a bloody nose the crowd didn’t think he was prince charming by any means.  When they scattered away from the two boys Iwaizumi let go of Oikawa.

_That hurt a lot!_ , Oikawa whined.

_Well if you weren’t such an idiot I wouldn’t have to hit you!_

_So mean Iwa-chan!_

He rolled his eyes and helped Oikawa onto his feet, the taller boy brushed himself off and pouted until Iwaizumi gave him some tissues for his nose.  The two walked around and tried to find a place to eat their lunch and chose a large tree to sit underneath.  Oikawa hummed a little under his breath as he opened his package of milk bread.  He munched on it happily as Iwaizumi gave him a tired look.

_You need to eat real food for lunch, Asskawa._

_Wow Iwa-chan, is there such thing as fake milk bread? I’ve never heard of it!_

That earned Oikawa several punches on the arm which he did not take gracefully.  He glumly chews on his milk bread as Iwaizumi placed the lid of his bento container on his lap and scooped a pile of food onto it.  He shoved it towards Oikawa, _If you don’t eat everything on here I’m going to kick your ass._  

_That’s way too harsh!_ , He pouted but took the food gratefully.  He smiled a little to himself as he ate, Iwa-chan’s mom’s cooking is the best!  Oikawa started humming and tilting his head from side to side again and Iwaizumi couldn’t help but want to know what song his friend always had stuck in his head.  

—-

They learned that high school volleyball was cut throat.  Iwaizumi had somehow managed to make it through try outs but there was a nagging feeling at the back of his mind that put him off.  It was hard, much harder than it was back in middle school, the sport itself and also the issue with his hearing.  Oikawa was not a translator by any means, he wasn’t able to listen and translate at the same time accurately, there were times when he would mess up signs or would miss words that the coach had been saying because he was so concentrated on Iwaizumi. On more than one occasion did Oikawa have to raise his hand for the man to repeat himself and not only did it embarrass Iwaizumi, he also felt terrible for making Oikawa do it for him.  He wasn’t even that great compared to the other players, even if he was on the team he would probably never play.

He let out a sigh and glanced over to see Oikawa setting to one of the second years, the other boy looked impressed and slapped Oikawa on the back.  Iwaizumi smiled at his friend. He was performing amazingly, the transition from middle school volleyball to high school didn’t seem to faze him at all. Oikawa was totally in his element and it was terrible for Iwaizumi to be jealous but he was.  It was when they were cleaning up after practice did he notice the way the other first years looked at him, pity plastered their face in a way that made Iwaizumi’s chest clench and breath come out ragged.  He breathed out of his nose and shot them a glare before stomping over to where Oikawa was throwing volleyballs into the basket.  The boy glanced up at his friend with a smile, _Iwa-chan! How was practice?_

Iwaizumi shrugged and reached out to ruffle Oikawa’s hair, _The senpai’s seem impressed with you._

_Of course they are, why wouldn’t they be?_

Iwaizumi sneered and knocked Oikawa upside the head, _Don’t be so cocky, Shittykawa._  

_So mean!_ , Oikawa pouted.  

Iwaizumi watched as he threw the last ball into basket and wheeled it off into the storage closet all while bobbing his head up and down.  The years of being Oikawa’s friend he had always wonder what the other boy was doing, he looked so peaceful and happy that Iwaizumi couldn’t find it in himself to snap at him to cut it out.  He soon figured out that Oikawa was most likely humming, he wondered what song Oikawa always had stuck in his head. Was the song happy or sad?

Maybe it was sad? Or maybe it was a different song everyday.  Iwaizumi pushed down the raising feeling of doubt and replaced it with reason, there was clearly nothing he could do about, nor did he really care all too much.  Whatever song Oikawa was singing was probably stupid anyways, except he was kind of lying to himself wasn’t he?

—-

Sometimes he didn’t feel good enough.  It was usual wasn’t it? For a teenager to feel insecure about themselves, wasn’t that just a part of grown up?  During these limited times he always made it so Oikawa wouldn’t notice, and really, he had become so busy because of volleyball he rarely paid any attention to anything else.  Iwaizumi was happy for his best friend, he really was.  Oikawa was hard working and determined, he deserved all the praise he revived.  On Iwaizumi’s end however, it was a lot different than how he was treated in middle school.  It was exactly what he thought, he was a second string player.  He had to watch as Oikawa flew around the court that was much too graceful to be volleyball goddammit!  Iwaizumi hadn’t  forgotten the way his team-mates looked at him, he didn’t need to hear what their whispered conversations to know that they entailed.  ‘He’s only on the team because coach feels bad for him.’

‘I heard Oikawa-san had to beg the coach to accept him on the team’

‘Wow, how pathetic.’

They spit lies that felt like fire in his lungs and it engulfed him into a pit of anger.  The laughter and mocking words were said all around him and he wondered how words that he couldn’t hear could hurt like hot knives.  Iwaizumi was sure of himself, he knew that he was relatively good looking, he received decent grades and he knew he was good at volleyball.  His deafness never came as a disability to him, he had never known anything else.  Iwaizumi had never wished for himself to be born different or to be ‘cured’ because he never thought of himself as broken, not until high school, not until he saw that he was never going to play on the same court as Oikawa was.  There was never a moment in his life where he hated himself more.  

—-

There was many cons of being friends with Oikawa.  He was loud, obnoxious, he never knew when to shut up and he had the worst personality ever.  It was a modern miracle that Iwaizumi hadn’t put the other boy in the hospital by now, or that they were friends in the first place.  Iwaizumi enjoyed his peace he never seemed to get when Oikawa was around but despite all the things that were different about them they work and Iwaizumi couldn’t imagine his life without the other boy.  That’s why when Oikawa had stopped by the streetlight when they were suppose to part (the high school was in the same direction as their middle school) he turned around and gave Iwaizumi a concerned stare, one that Iwaizumi had given Oikawa many times in the past.  A lump formed in his throat, What is it, Oikawa?

Oikawa hesitated, _I was just wondering if you were okay._

Iwaizumi stared, a line forming on his face.  Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck, he couldn’t know.  He couldn’t, there was no way, _Yea, why are you asking?_

_You seem—off? I mean you don’t really talk to me at school anymore and you even stopped calling me those mean names._

Iwaizumi huffed, _Do you like it when I insult you, Shittykawa._

_It’s better than nothing! You barely even play with me during volleyball practice!_ Oikawa was visibly upset, it was not an expression that he showed many people.  Iwaizumi being one of the only that ever got to see it, it was unlucky for Oikawa that Iwaizumi had not up him on the list of people that was allowed to see him upset.  He merely rolled his eyes, _You’re a first string player, you should practice with the wing spikers that will be playing in official games._

_But Iwa-chan! You’ll be playing in official games in no time!_

_He wasn’t, Iwaizumi saw the reality of the situation,_ he thought that Oikawa would too.  

_Get real Shittykawa._

_I’m not joking! Iwa-chan, I’m going to make you the ace! Just you watch._

His heart thumbed in his chest as a rare genuine smile appeared on Oikawa’s face.  His sucked in a breath and glared at the tips of his shoes to stop the blush from forming on his face, goddammit.  Only fucking Oikawa could make him feel so stupid and hopeful, he punched his friend lightly on the arm, _I’ll hold you to that._

—-

Oikawa wasn’t by any stretch of the imagination weak, he wasn’t, and Iwaizumi knew that.  His friend was an unstoppable force that everyone should fear because whatever Oikawa wanted, he went out and got.  But he had his moments, times when his smile would be too fake and the circles under his eyes would contrast too much with his pale skin.  In those times, it was Iwaizumi that picked up the pieces and held them together.  How could he do that if he himself was broken?  It was okay wasn’t it? As long as Oikawa didn’t know everything would be okay. He was still dependable, he was still useful to Oikawa.  Everything was okay, it was— Iwaizumi felt a jab at his side and jumped out of his seat.  

_Iwa-chan, you’re spacing out!_

He looked around the room to see that people had already moved their desk together to have lunch, he shook his head and stood, _Sorry Oikawa._

The other boy pouted, _Iwa-chan forgot about me.  I’m hurt!_

Well get over it, He picked up his lunch and followed Oikawa out of the room.  

_What made you so entranced in your thoughts?_ Oikawa signed, _Oh! Were you thinking about a girl?_

Iwaizumi scowled and shoved him, _I don’t have time to think about girls, unlike some idiots._

_Are you talking about me? That’s rude, you’re just jealous that I’m so popular!_

He hit him upside the head and they continued their walk to their usual lunch place all while Oikawa smiled and waved at all the girls within a five meter radius.  It was a pain in the neck and it really did cut into their lunch time when girls swarm Oikawa.

Iwaizumi had needed to use the washroom so he told Oikawa he would meet him at their usual spot, when he had walked out a few people had pushed him as they ran down the hallway.  It was actually getting very crowded, it wasn’t until he noticed a circle forming near the stairs when he knew that a fight at broken out.  He would have rolled his eyes and just went the opposite direction to get to Oikawa if he had not see the puff of brown hair that couldn’t have belonged to anyone else.  He pushed through the crowed and stared at Oikawa who had a teammate pinned against the wall.  He punching the other boy in the face repeatedly and screaming,  Iwaizumi watched in horror as Oikawa drew back his arm for another punch before he leaped forward to catch.  Oikawa turned back to face Iwaizumi and he felt every nerve in his body go still he had never seen his friend so anger before, not since middle school, not since Kageyama.  Oikawa’s eyes were burning with a fiery rage that even struck fear into Iwaizumi, he was angry to the point where Iwaizumi didn’t even know if he had the ability to tug him back into composure.  

_Oi, what the fuck are you doing?_

His ramming his fist into their teammate’s face again, this time Iwaizumi was much more aggressive with pulling Oikawa back.  He held the other boy in a vice grip and wouldn’t let go no matter how much Oikawa was pulling and yelling.  The crowd surrounding them grew and grew until they were swarmed with people with curious eyes and those with wretched voices that spread rumours like fire did a forest.  Oikawa’s breaths came out ragged and he refused to meet his best friend’s eyes peering over his shoulder he saw the boy slumped against the wall, blood dripping from his nose.  Iwaizumi was still stiff with shock and confusion he had no idea what had brought this up, everything had been fine up until a few minutes ago.  He hadn’t noticed that a teacher had appeared at the scene until he felt a hand on his shoulder.  He didn’t know what she was staying but the anger and disappointment was evident in her face, sternly shouted at Oikawa and pointed in the direction of the office.  The teacher then helped the boy off the ground and took him to the infirmary.  Iwaizumi was left in the hall filled with gossip and whispered, everyone around him seemed to have an idea of what had happened.  There one things that he knew for sure the fight had been about him if the looks the student body was giving him meant anything and there was no one else that Oikawa would fight that hard for other than for him.  He knew that much.  

—-

Oikawa hadn’t been suspended, their coach had made sure of that.  He was too much of a valuable player to be off the team or out of school.  That being said, he did not go unpunished, He had cleaning duty for the rest of the year and he had to formally apologize to the boy.  Iwaizumi knew that the hardest part was for him to such up his damn pride and apologize, but he somehow managed to stutter it out.  It had been days since the incident and Oikawa had still refused to tell him what sparked it.  No matter how much he had threatened to bash his face in if he didn’t tell him what the hell was going on, but Oikawa had only glared at the ground and shook his head.  His frustration was so overbearing that it was hard to concentrate on anything else.  Practice had been tense as well, he had assumed it was because of Oikawa but there was something else as well.  Something to do with him, and he really couldn’t put on a finger on it.   On top of that, his and Oikawa’s relationship had changed so much since high school had started and he couldn’t help but think it was somehow his fault.  Because of cleaning duty Oikawa had to stay back after school and when Iwaizumi had offered to wait for him, Oikawa had refused.  Iwaizumi’s frustration and anger grew day by day until his insides felt cut up and his throat was filled with bile.  It was then when walked straight to Hanamaki during lunch with a notebook and slammed it onto his desk.  

**Tell me what’s going on now!**

The other boy looked up tiredly and sighed, he began writing and Iwaizumi read over his shoulder, **Well, it’s lunch right now and I’m eating—**

Iwaizumi kicked the leg of the table and let out a grunt, Hanamaki was fucking with him.  The other first year leaned back and eyed Iwaizumi, maybe it was the look of rage and desperation that formed on Iwaizumi’s face or perhaps Hanamaki was feeling kind that day because he leaned forward and wrote, **Are you talking about the incident where Oikawa gave that kid a bloody nose?**

He nodded and in reply his teammate wrote something else, **I don’t know the full or real story, but I’ve heard things.**  

Iwaizumi nodded and shrugged in reply, the conversation continued: **Well, if you had half a brain you know that the fight was about you.**

He nodded again.  

**He was defending you.**  

From what? What the hell? The questions must have been seen from his expression because Hanamaki continued, **I’m not sure, but from what I heard it had something to do with you being on the team.**  He looked up sympathetically and shrugged, Hanamaki stood and handed that notebook back to Iwaizumi, who took it with shaky hands.  He laid a comforting hand on Iwaizumi’s shoulder.  He didn’t know what else he could do.  

—-

The next day Iwaizumi quit the team.

—-

He didn’t reply to the mass of text messages that Oikawa sent him asking where he was, he was too tired.  Iwaizumi dragged himself out of bed an hour later than his usually did but he felt dizzy with sleep.  He checked his phone while brushing his teeth and saw Oikawa’s endless phone calls and text messages; he didn’t read them.  His morning conversation with his mother went as such: she asked why he wasn’t at practice and he shrugged, asking if him and Tooru were having a fight to which he replied with another shrug.  

He was now laying on his bed with nothing better to do than sulk, his homework had been done and tripled checked, there was nothing on tv to watch, and he had used all his allowance for the week already so he couldn’t go out to buy the latest volleyball magazine.  Iwaizumi couldn’t shut his head up.  It kept screaming at him, scenes from the fight, his missed spikes, the looks that members gave him as he stepped onto the court.  The never ending reel of disappointment was pounding into his mind and there wasn’t anything he could do to make it stop.  Iwaizumi threw the sheets off himself and shoved his feet into his shoes before storming out of the house.  He angry walk turned into a jog and soon he was running at full force down the street to the nearest trail.  Iwaizumi lost count of how many laps he ran, but by the time he stops his lungs are burning like fire and sweat is dripping down his face.  The boy squeezed his eyes shut and pressed his head against a tree for support, his breaths are coming out ragged.  Dammit, god fucking dammit! Shut up, shut up, shut up!  Iwaizumi felt himself slipping further and further into hysteria when he was brought back by a gentle hand on his shoulder.  The boy twisted around and slapped the hand away in a fit of rage, the tears blurred his vision and he couldn’t hear whatever the other was trying to say but he knew who it was.  He roughly wiped his tears away and stared at the ground, at the familiar mismatched socks and white sneakers that couldn’t belong to anyone but Oikawa.

He reached out slowly and made his movements clear so he was not to frighten Iwaizumi, the other boy let Oikawa take his trembling hands and lead him to the nearest bench.  Their thighs pressed against each other, Iwaizumi had his head between his legs and Oikawa was rubbing slow circles on the small of his back.  It wasn’t until his breaths came out evenly and his lungs stopped burning that Iwaizumi lifted his head and let his gaze linger on Oikawa’s expression.  Saying that he was worried would have been the understatement of the century, Oikawa looked ready to drag Iwaizumi to the nearest hospital.  

_Iwa-chan, did you drop your phone in the ocean and you couldn’t receive it because a shark ate it?_

_He didn’t know what or how to respond, What the fuck Oikawa?_

_Well, I’m just trying to figure out why you haven't been answering my calls and the only thing I could think of is that you tragically lost your phone saving a life!_

_There isn’t even an ocean near and saving a— He flinched at the fist that collided with his arm, Oikawa had never done anything like that before.  Iwaizumi was always the one that was beating him up because of all of the stupid shit that he did._  

_What the hell shittykawa!_

_You’re so stupid Iwa-chan!, the other boy was biting his lip in frustration, You’re not allowed you ignore me!_

_You can’t tell me wha—_ He was punched again, shit.  

_Don’t be so pathetic and wallow in your own self-pity! And don’t be an idiot and pretend that I don’t even exist!_ , tears of anger were running down Oikawa’s puffy face, _How could you forget about me?_

Fuck, god fucking dammit! _This isn’t even about you you asshole! Just leave it alone!_

_I’m not! If Iwa-chan is involved then how could I leave it alone you big fat idiot!_

_Go die in a hole Shittykawa_ , He stood and started to stomp away when Oikawa’s hand reached out to catch his.  

_I’m not letting you quit just because you’re having a hard time._

_Why the fuck not!_

_Because you didn’t let me! Don’t give up, keep moving forward! Those are your words Iwa-chan!_

Fuck, fucking hell, Oikawa would be the one that used his own words against him.  He clenched his teeth and matched Oikawa’s glare with his own.  Usually it would have made Oikawa back down or at least have his composure shatter but it hadn’t, if it were possible he stared back harder.  He had never seen Oikawa so determined, not even when he was learning his new serve.  He looked ready to stand in front of Iwaizumi for as long as it took for them to sort everything out, it was scaring the hell out of him.  

Please Iwa-chan, please stop this, His expression had softened when the back of his eyes had started prickling with tears but Iwaizumi was already there.  With tears streaming down his cheeks faster than he could manage to wipe away a sob broke through his lips without his permission and he had surged forward into Oikawa.  Iwaizumi wanted to be mad at himself for being so weak, he wanted to be made at stupid Oikawa for making him cry in the middle of the fucking park but he didn’t have the energy for any of that.  After middle school had ended and over the summer Oikawa had shot right up and soon became taller than him, to his dismay.  Oikawa hadn’t let him forget about it, but right now with his face pressed comfortably into the crook of his neck Iwaizumi was glad for the height difference.  Oikawa started rubbing slow and gentle circles on the small of his back and whispering into Iwaizumi’s ears.  Of course he wasn’t able to hear what Oikawa was saying, but the vibrations and little puffs of air were comforting Maybe it was because his heartbeat starting matching Oikawa’s or because of the smoothing feeling of his hands on Iwaizumi’s back, maybe it was the presence of Oikawa himself that had made him stumble out of the dark corner he had put himself in.  Iwaizumi didn’t know what it was about the boy with doe like eyes or the brown hair that never wanted to sit flat anywhere that made him feel so insanely warm but he had never been so grateful for anyone in his life.  

—-

He never actually knew how terrifying Oikawa could be.  The day after they had finally sit down to talk and at the end Oikawa had stood up from his spot on the floor, grabbed a pillow off of Iwaizumi’s bed and chucked it at him.  He kept doing such until everything was stripped off the bed and thrown on the floor, Iwaizumi really couldn’t even be mad.  He really did deserve it, but that didn’t stop him for being a little frustrated that he would have to clean up afterwards.  Oikawa had scrunched up his nose and tried to find the right words to say before he completely gave up and started yelling at Iwaizumi for how stop he was being, he didn’t know that Oikawa could sign that fast but apparently he could.  There wasn’t much to speak about after Oikawa ran out of swear words in sign language, they had both agreed to start research on deaf volleyball players to see how Iwaizumi could practice, Oikawa had written up a workout regimen for the two of them.  It would be good practice for the both of them, Oikawa would have someone to toss to and Iwaizumi would be able to figure out spikes if he kept practicing.  The only thing that they hadn’t seen eye to eye was if Iwaizumi was going to rejoin the team, Oikawa was adamant that he was.  

_You have to show those losers that you’re made of Iwa-chan!_

_Don’t talk about your teammates that way Asskawa!_

It was a couple of days later when they were watching a game on tv and Iwaizumi couldn’t take his eyes off the wing spiker when Oikawa nudged him.  

_He’s the ace you know, best player on the team!_

The ace—the player that could spike through blockers like it was nothing, the one that the team leaned on during a hard game, the one that everyone could trust.  

_Do you want to be the ace, Iwa-chan?_

He didn’t really know why he didn’t just push Oikawa over and rolled his eyes or say no, but there was a challenging look in his eyes one that wasn’t exactly mocking but wasn’t subtle either.  

_Yea, that would be pretty awesome,_ he smiled softly.

There was a long pause, Oikawa smiled from ear to ear a really genuine smile.  It did much more than just make Iwaizumi’s heart stop, but he wasn’t going to admit anything.  

_I’ll definitely make you the ace! Just count on me!_

He had said those words to Iwaizumi before, he hadn’t listened at first but now— he shoved shoved Oikawa, _This isn’t about you idiot!_

_Mean Iwa-chan! Iwa-chan is so mean!_

Iwaizumi trusted him, there wasn’t a single doubt in his body that Oikawa meant every word he said.  He was going to be Aobajosai’s ace, Oikawa’s ace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Stumbles in a million years late* I'm so sorry! School has been crazy and I'm actually doing summer school right now as well! Thank you so much for those of you who have been waiting for me to update and I hope you like this chapter! 
> 
> !Thanks you Hazel for betaing this for me!
> 
> Also talk to me on [tumblr](http://tinyyhinata.tumblr.com)


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